I've always wished I could write a diary...

Don't get me wrong, I know how to write and it's easy enough to buy a diary... I just mean I wish I had the motivation to keep it up to date. I've tried a few times but it usually only lasts a few days. I fill a few entries with a quick update of what has happened my whole life and then when I am up-to-date I get a few 'Nothing happened today' entries and then that's it... Diary in the bin.

Maybe I should just try and write one every five years, keep the 'what has happened so far' updates and then throw the diary away again. Maybe I am better at looking back than looking at what is going on now? That's scary, maybe I am actually having a great life but I only realise when I look back on it!!!

I've also tried the lyric book idea a few times, I would love to be like Jeff Buckley who always kept a little notepad handy just in case a lyric or poem came to him. I picture myself in a coffee shop, whipping out my little notepad and writing down the deep inspirational lyrics ha ha ha... But that ain't me. I'm an analyser or for you americans... Analyzer!!!

By that I mean I write my songs by finding an idea or a thread and then sitting down and playing with the words to express it. I write songs like fiction, even if they are about me or how I am feeling, I still role-play. How do I get across that thought? How do I disguise it a little bit so I don't upset someone, or how can I make it a little harder to crack the code of what I actually mean?

It's quite hard writing songs about life when you are living it, about people you see every day about feelings you aren't ready to talk about... Yea I can sing about it to a hundred people... But I can't talk about it to one person. Funny that.

There was a thread in my forum once where I tried to explain what my lyrics mean in each song and it was interesting to read how others interpreted them. In songs where I was trying to be bleak, people often said that they sensed hope, which is great because I didn't... Or was it there after all?

Anyway, my point about diaries is that the Internet has made it a lot easier for me, I put lyric ideas in a private forum before I forget them and it is great going back there and reading them and using them... And of course this is a diary of sorts. It's usually about music but every now and then I unleash this kind of nonsense.

I found this post I put up at a discussion forum at the start of the year, you had to state what you wished to achieve before you die...

*****

I'd like to own apartments/houses in Jersey, London, New York and perhaps Sydney and travel between them all year playing music to hundreds of people at a time at venues in and around these cities, who are there because they like what I play.

I'd like to play live on TV and radio, at festivals and in coffee shops and bars around the world.

I'd like to make albums of music that are loved by people.

I'd like to meet people I really respect for their talents, musicians, actors, directors, fighters and I'd like some of them to tell me that they respect me for my talent.

In each of my apartments/houses I would like a study/library/hideaway where I can keep my books and the tools I need to write my own... Great to see my book alongside Miriamelle's someday.

I would like to see my kids happy and fulfilled every step of the way as I walk through this adventure...

The other day I was playing a new track on my Mum's CD Player and my son (5) said "Nanny, that's my daddy singing..." And he beamed... I want to hear him say "That's my daddy on television/radio/in that magazine..."

Oh and I want to wake up with Angelina Jolie's smudged lipstick on my Y-fronts and I want to have the argument with Christina Aguillera as to who's lipstick it is exactly, which is smudged on said Y-fronts... I then want Kelly Brooke to butt in and ask "Since when did you wear Y-fronts JT?"

*****

And the only thing I'd change? Well, there's someone I want with me every step of the way and it isn't angelina, christina or Kelly and you know what... As long as the happy and fulfilled kids bit is true, none of the rest matters if that person is with me...

And whadya know, I didn't even need five years to look back on it to know it's good!!!